Being a workaholic has been fine up until now. It was fine when I was single. It was fine when I adopted my nephew/now son and became a single mom 10 years ago. It was fine when I got married at 39. And it was fine when I had my youngest son at 40.

I’m now 43 – and my workaholism no longer works.

We knew something was different with our youngest son when he was 15 months old. He got diagnosed with a severe speech delay and we started speech therapy. My workaholism was still working. And then four months ago we got the official autism level 2 diagnosis – he turned three years old three months later.

My workaholism no longer works. I can no longer be away from home traveling for work 5-6 times/month. I have to be extremely thoughtful with whoever gets access to me outside of work. Walk-and-talks with friends are the priority over dinners with friends. I can no longer sacrifice my health.

And what’s surprising to me is that I’m okay with it. I’m ready to be a recovering workaholic. I guess it was going to require a complete life-changing event to wake me up – and subconsciously I was ready for it.

Now don’t get me wrong – I prioritize my boys and my husband – they get a lot of me. But I’m not getting enough of me – which serves exactly no one. And I’m not getting enough friend time because I do not have the capacity. And this autism mom role can be an isolating journey, and I don’t want to do this alone.   

For someone who was such an extreme workaholic, you might think I’d view all of this as terrible news. But I don’t. My little boy’s diagnosis has opened my heart wide and brought my priorities into focus. 

Time is our most precious resource, and I will no longer negotiate with mine. 

What I now know for sure is that this isn’t the end of a dream – it’s the start of a new one. 

I’ve wanted to expand Vitale & Company for years by building a team of contractor partners who can bring both our work and their own brilliance to our clients. That plan was already in motion, but Lowell’s diagnosis has given me the clarity – and urgency – to stop dragging my feet and build it. 

We are onboarding five contractors this month, including two who will begin serving our clients immediately. One of my primary purposes in building this business has always been to provide a livelihood for others. Our ultimate goal is to have 40 consultants serving and training our clients all over the world – and now, I believe that will happen faster. 

And it will happen without me being a workaholic. 

Mary Oliver famously asked, “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” 

Well – I plan on living it. 

Old habits die hard, so this isn’t going to happen overnight. But it is going to happen intentionally. Here are some of the commitments I’m making that might inspire you to think differently about your own life. 

#1: Health is wealth: I basically haven’t exercised consistently since Lowell was born three years ago. Yes – you read that correctly. Before that, I ran five or six miles regularly and went to Orangetheory or Pilates five or six times a week. But life happened, and I made choices along the way. Plus, when you travel constantly for work, there’s no such thing as a routine, or at least that was my excuse. Moving forward, I’m prioritizing exercise four times a week, even if it’s simply walking around my neighborhood. Consistency always beats intensity. 

I also recently got an appointment with an incredible hormone doctor (for the women in their forties…IYKYK) who finally listened to me and didn’t dismiss my symptoms – and the tests she ran and resulting actions are going to be a game changer for my health, energy, and focus. 

#2: Grow Vitale & Company so it’s not dependent on me: this was always the plan, but it’s easy to drag your feet when you’re in the messy middle of turning a vision into reality. Juggling all the demands of life and running a business can create decision fatigue and bottlenecks. But my little guy’s autism has created clarity and urgency. Now, without hesitation, I get to put my ultimate dream into action: building Vitale & Company into a firm with 40 consultants advising and training clients around the world. More impact and less bottlenecks! We are actively onboarding new consultants and looking for more. If you’re interested, reach out! 

#3: We rise and fall to level of our systems: per James Clear, this quote is true. This was something I laser-focused on at the beginning of this year and will continue – I’m prioritizing and systematizing like my life depends on it. Because it does. Weekend dates with my teenager, weekly date nights with my husband, lunches with V&CO’s Chief of Staff, Taylor Davis Hunt, seeing my parents 6-8 times a year, mornings and bedtime with my toddler. And as a business we are also laser-focused – we are serving highly-regulated industries because that’s what we do best. I heard this quote at a recent conference, and couldn’t agree more, “comfortable is wide. Credible is deep.”  

#4: Prioritize my time and values ruthlessly: I’m no longer negotiating with my values and my time. This life we are living is not a dress rehearsal – this is it. And so how are we going to spend our time? I love my work and my clients and growing Vitale & Company – and that will continue. But it will move forward with a larger team – and this means we get to serve more clients and make a larger impact without me being the bottleneck – yay – everyone wins! Lol. But truly – it’s not lost on me that it took a life-changing diagnosis to force this recovering workaholic to put her dreams into warp speed. This will require a different version of me but will also give me space for myself and the ones I love the most.  

They say the days are long and the years are short. And they are. You don’t need a life-changing diagnosis to force you to reconsider how you’re spending your one wild and precious life. You can choose now.  

One day or day one,  

Vitale