I’m excited to launch Vitale & Company’s leadership newsletter, Forget Perfect! And I’m even more excited to share with you all some of the things I’ve been doing this summer to stay sane as a leader and human.  

As a recovering perfectionist, I always struggled to be in the present moment. I would be with my loved ones or colleagues, but I wouldn’t really be with them – I would be thinking about other things or my to-do list. I would never be where my feet are – I would be at work and feel guilty for not being with my family – or I’d be with my family and feel guilty for not working more. I would end up missing out on experiences and memory-making opportunities because of my perfectionism.  

And because of my history of perfectionism and lack of presence in my life, one of my goals this summer was to be where my feet are – both at work and at home. And it has been a big summer – in my personal life, my 12-year-old turned 13, and my baby turned one – so the impermanence of life and the passing of time has hit me really hard. Professionally, I hired a Chief of Staff on the team and our leadership development clients have tripled, so everyone and everything has been grappling for my attention. Oh – and I also have a husband, friends, parents, and I am an introvert with a deep need for alone time. So let’s suffice it to say – intentional presence has been a top priority.  

With all the things we juggle in our lives, here are the ways I’ve been able to be successful with being present and keeping my promise to myself:  

Create micro-moments of presence vs 24/7 presence:

one of the first steps in prioritizing presence is to reset your expectations around being present. Instead of setting the goal of “I’m going to be more present,” be more specific and set goals for micro-moments of being present. Here are some examples: “I’m going to block off Monday afternoons and spend two hours of focus time on work priorities” or “we’re going to make Friday’s family game nights” or “my phone is going in another room from 5-7 pm on weeknights.” These are examples of micro-moments that allow you to really be intentional with being present.  

Schedule dates with your loved ones:

this is one of my all-time favorite presence hacks. Determine who you want/need to be present with and schedule the time in your calendar. I have Sunday date nights with my 13yo, Thursday date nights with my husband, weekly meetings with my Chief of Staff, two dinners a month with girlfriends, bi-monthly strategic thinking time with myself, and Sunday alone time for me to recharge (which usually involves ice cream and Law & Order SVU reruns lol).  

Create “presence mantras”:

I’m a sucker for a good quote or mantra. Mantras help ground me when I feel out of control, and they help reset my mindset. Here are some of my favorites: be where your feet are, trust the timing of your life, presence is an action, and don’t push the river. Figure out your favorite presence mantra and keep it top of mind.  

Sunday prioritizing date:

this is one of my favorite weekly dates with myself. Each Sunday I break out my weekly planner and get to work for 30-45 minutes. I look at the week ahead and I prioritize where I need to be present for the week. On Tuesday I might need to work late to get a few projects done, and on Wednesday I might need to stop working earlier than usual to spend it with my teenager and take him to the movies. My Sunday prioritizing date is non-negotiable if I want to make presence a priority.  

These are a few ways to make presence a top priority in your life.  

Because here’s what I know for sure – as leaders our presence is the biggest gift we can give someone. And – our time is our most precious resource. 

How are you prioritizing your presence this summer? I hope these tips help.  

Best,  

Vitale